Jess Quote #697
Jess: Schmidt, will you at least just talk to me, please? He looked nice in his picture. The frame cut off the bottom of his beard, so how was I to know it was braided into a beardy tail? He asked me to the food court near his house. I thought that was down to earth, and I liked that. He didn't bring any money, so we had to go back to his apartment. And also he wanted to show me some of his old baby clothes. [groans] Maybe I'm not ready for Dice. Will you just help me, please? I want to get back out there. I have to... I need to get back out there. And I know I'm gullible. 'Cause people tell me that, and I have no reason not to believe them. Teach me to Dice.
New Girl Quotes
‘Dice’ Quotes
Quote from Jess
Schmidt: Dice is a dating app.
Jess: Dating app.
Schmidt: It's not for you.
Jess: What? Schmidty. Come on. I've Internet dated before. You send an e-mail, you get excited, you wait, you get an e-mail back.
Schmidt: You are just describing e-mailing.
Quote from Schmidt
Schmidt: And that is why... No matter how tricked out it is... You never get into a van.
Jess: "No van."
Schmidt: Okay, moving on. Classic warning signs. Now, last night, the crazy man said he needed to meet you near his house. What he was really saying was, "I expect tonight to end in sex."
Jess: Or maybe he doesn't like to be far from his pets.
Schmidt: Never date a man with pets. The only acceptable pet for a man to have is a saltwater fish.
Quote from Schmidt
Schmidt: The hell is that? What is that noise? [ringtone playing]
Nick: Your cellular technology.
Schmidt: I haven't gotten a non-text message in two years.