Jess Quote #611
Jess: You see what you're doing, right?
Abby: [gasps] Oh, my God. I'm Mom. [Jess laughs] No! I'm turning into Mom. How did this happen? "Just a little bit."
Jess: "Just a tipple."
Abby: "I don't want to get stoned."
Jess: Hey, I love that she calls "getting drunk" "getting stoned." [Abby laughs] Oh, my God. Wait. Big news. Mom got one of those very, very small denim backpacks.
Abby: What?
Jess: She did, and she calls it her blue guy. She's, like, "Oh, I got to grab my blue guy."
Abby: Can't believe you're making fun of Mom. You're her perfect little baby.
Jess: I'm... Hey, I'm... I'm not really a baby.
Abby: You're a super grownup.
Jess: Thank you.
New Girl Quotes
‘Sister’ Quotes
Quote from Schmidt
Schmidt: The target is Rachael. She's a Hebrew school teacher.
Nick: Crashing some random kid's bar mitzvah's the best way to get her?
Schmidt: Get her on the dance floor, a little bit softer now, a little bit louder now, sweep her off her feet, we'll get married, we'll have a son named Elon. At his bar mitzvah, I tell the story of how I met his mom at this bar mitzvah. Not a dry eye in the house. Jewish continuity, et cetera, et cetera.
Nick: Do you realize how long you were just talking?
Schmidt: There she is. Whew! A beautiful piece of hamentaschen.
Nick: What the hell is hamentaschen?
Schmidt: Problem is her dad is my rabbi. He hates me. So I just need to charm Rachael before he gets to her and tells her horrible-slash-true things about me.
Quote from Nick
Nick: What did you come here to talk to me about?
Schmidt: As I was saying earlier, I have a very difficult flirting situation here. I mean, it's a double black diamond: trees, moguls. And, as we both know, you're the best wingman who's ever wung.
[flashback to Schmidt and a wheelchair-bound Nick crashing an outdoor, woman's yoga class:]
Nick: Thank you, Schmidt! I'm almost glad I got in the accident so we can have more days like this together, with you helping me through this. How could a guy so rich be so generous with his time? Whoa. [wheelchair rolls]
[flashback to a book store:]
Nick: Excuse me. Are you the writer of So You've Mastered the Female Orgasm, Now What? Incredible. Can I have your autograph?
Schmidt: Of course.
Quote from Winston
Nick: Well, I can't wait to meet the mysterious Abby Day.
Jess: Not mysterious. Jet setter.
Winston: You know, I always imagined her with a French-speaking black husband, like a Jerome St. Pierre.