Jess: Hey, mountain man. You want to come eat some dirty vegetables with us?
Nick: I should've known those beets weren't from nature. Nothing purple grows in nature.

Jess: I'm seeing some interesting things. I'm out of the office till Friday. For immediate assistance, please call Deb at extension A.C. Slater.

Winston: So this is Thanksgiving meal? 96 warm beers?
Nick: We can do this. Guys, we've gotten soft! With our antibiotics and our sports creams. Do you think George Washington had a pet cat?
Winston: Yeah.
Cece: No.
Nick: He didn't. He hunted them.
Jess: What?
Nick: And he made milk and butter out of their spoils.
Jess: That's terrible.
Coach: So you're saying George Washington milked his cat?
Cece: Nothing is sounding accurate right now.
Winston: Not at all.
Schmidt: Where'd you read this?