Schmidt Quote #483
Quote from Schmidt in Bachelorette Party
Cece: Hey, you listen to me. That is my future family, okay? You cannot speak like that in front of them. And, no, you cannot have a plus-one. This wedding has a budget. Plus-ones are for spouses and serious partners only.
Schmidt: So you just assume that I won't have a serious partner by then?
Cece: I know for a fact you won't, okay? You're not a relationship guy, and that is fine.
Schmidt: I can do anything I put my mind to. I once figured out Alyssa Milano's phone number just by randomly choosing numbers. Every girl that I've ever slept with wants to be my girlfriend. It's just the way that it is.
Cece: If you have a real girlfriend by the time of the wedding, I will happily give you a plus-one.
Schmidt: Challenge accepted.
Cece: Not a challenge.
Schmidt: Time to go make some dreams come true.
New Girl Quotes
‘Bachelorette Party’ Quotes
Quote from Winston
Jess: I just need you to kidnap Shivrang so I can get Cece alone.
Winston: Roughhouse him a little bit, drop him off in the desert till he don't breathe no more?
Nick: What?!
Quote from Schmidt
Schmidt: Well, spoiler alert: Women are liars.
Nick: Yeah. Yeah.
Schmidt: They're supposed to want commitment, right? But then I offer it to them on a silver platter and they throw it back in my face like a comedy pie.
[flashback:]
Schmidt: I know this is awkward because we slept together, and I never returned any of your phone calls, so this might come as a shock to you, but... will you be my girlfriend?
Hot Girl #1: [sighs] Oh, God. I thought you had herpes. But no to the girlfriend, you dick.
[flashback:]
Schmidt: Do you remember two years ago when we were watching coverage of the BP oil spill and doing it during the commercials and then you asked me if I wanted a serious relationship and I laughed in your face? Well, my new answer... is yes.
[flashback:]
Schmidt: Be my girlfriend!
Woman: [screams]
Schmidt: What's that all about? [notices woman's groceries] Cream cheese in bulk?
Quote from Schmidt
Schmidt: Cece didn't give me a plus-one. How dare she not give me a plus-one. You can't invite an ex to a wedding and not give him the dignity of consolation sex. Girl better recognize. Schmidty gonna go get his plus-one.