Schmidt Quote #413
Quote from Schmidt in Table 34
Schmidt: Excuse me. Excuse me! Hold up! You know, when I came here today, I thought India was a pretty cool country. You guys are obviously smart. You l-looked at the roof of a bus and you said, "That's not just a roof, that's more seating." Kal Penn, he's a genius. Thank you for him. But what I didn't know is that you're a country full of blind idiots.
Cece: Oh, God.
Schmidt: Because in your midst walks a brown angel. That woman. Right there. I may be an idiot, but I'm smart enough to know what I lost. You people could've had it all. And you shoved her over there at a table with Nick. Get your crap together, India. Schmidt out!
More New Girl Quotes
‘Table 34’ Quotes
Quote from Schmidt
Schmidt: Okay, neither of you are coming. I've been studying up for a full week. I can actually speak conversational Hindi. If that conversation is, "Hello." "Hello." "Samosa?" "Yes, please, Samosa." "More towels?" "Do you know where the white person's toilet is?" After that, it gets very confusing.
Nick: Can you drive in that dress?
Schmidt: You're right, I can't. All right, you're driving. Let's go.
Quote from Schmidt
Cece: You told me you had moved on.
Schmidt: Only people who haven't moved on say things like that. I'm a squirrel. You're my nut. Winter's coming. I'm gonna store you in my cheek, girl.
Cece: Please leave.
Schmidt: You and I not being together does not make sense to me. I miss your body and the things I used to do to it.
Cece: Schmidt.
Schmidt: I'm talking about sex.
Cece: Today is about me finding someone within my own culture that I can build my life with. It's about more than sex.
Schmidt: Our sex was about more than sex. It was about history and memory and thousands of years of colonial suffering all being released in one moment of pure ecstasy.
Cece: Then why did the sex always end with you yelling, "Blammo, that happened"?
Schmidt: Blammo.
Schmidt Quotes
Quote from Godparents
Schmidt: Oh, no. Ruth hasn't been signed out. Um, excuse me. Um, have you seen Ruth? Brown hair, smile that would shake the earth, hates peas?
Girl: A white man broke in today.
Schmidt: A... a white man?! No! Well, what did security do about it?!
Girl: Nothing.
Schmidt: Typical!
Quote from Wig
Schmidt: You know, when we first met, I had to pretend that all kinds of things were wrong with you just so I wouldn't freak out. You know, like, I gave you a glass eye for a while. You had a wooden foot for a short period of time. There was one week where I pretended that you were a Democrat.
Cece: I am a Democrat.
Schmidt: [laughing] Ah, that's so funny. I love you.
Cece: Okay. So we tell Nick she has a glass eye.
Schmidt: He'll spin out. He'll think the eye is a government-issued camera taking pictures for Langley. [Cece scoffs] Nick's a conspiracy theorist. It's like an Irish carnival up there-- just potato peels, broken rides, fiddle music, dreams left unfulfilled, bloodied soccer jerseys, bunch of women limping around named Moira.