Jess Quote #346
Jess: Officer, I understand how this looks and smells, but I assure you, I would not ever get behind the wheel of a vehicle if I had had even a drop to drink. This has just been the most crazy night. And I'm not going to cry because I believe in traffic violations and paying your debt to society, but you have to believe...
Cop: I believe you.
Jess: You do? Why?
Schmidt: Jess, be cool.
Cop: Sometimes people tell the truth. You drive safely, and happy holidays.
Jess: Was that...?
Winston: Santa.
Nick: Black Santa.
Features in the collection: Christmas Quotes.
New Girl Quotes
‘Christmas Quotes’
Quote from Winston in Christmas Eve Eve
Winston: Let's see. KXHD136.
Schmidt: You memorized the package tracking number, but you didn't know that you could use that number to track the package?
Winston: What?! 9:18 A.M. refused delivery? Did you refuse a package to Retired Rear Admiral Jay Garage-A-Roo?
Schmidt: Listen to what you just asked. Of course I did.
Winston: Damn it! Damn it! Damn it! Damn it! Damn it! Damn it! Damn it! Damn it! Damn it, Schmidt! I am Retired Rear Admiral Jay Garage-A-Roo! It is my Secret Santa alias.
Schmidt: Oh.
Winston: Yeah. Damn it! Damn it! Damn it! Damn it! Damn it! Damn it! Damn it!
Schmidt: You would've been my nightmare. We were on very strict instructions from Rabbi Schmulie not to say a word until the last Christian kid found out about Santa Claus. Ruining Christmas, very bad for our brand.
‘Santa’ Quotes
Quote from Winston
Winston: Jess.
Jess: Yes. Yes, my love.
Winston: Honey, we both know we have been unhappy for far too long. I am not just a vehicle you get to ride to Pleasure Town. Be gone, honky! [throws drink at Jess] This is for your own good. Say good-bye to paradise, honey!
Quote from Schmidt
Schmidt: You would've been my nightmare. We were on very strict instructions from Rabbi Schmulie not to say a word until the last Christian kid found out about Santa Claus. Ruining Christmas, very bad for our brand.
Quote from Winston
Winston: It was Black Santa.
Schmidt: Santa Claus isn't even real.
Winston: We got a Black president, we got a Black Santa Claus.
Schmidt: It was not Black Santa Claus! What a ... that's ludicrous.
Winston: I knew it, I knew it, I knew it. Now, what is he doing? He should be at home getting ready.
Jess: I believe. I believe Sam and I want to go see him.
Winston: To the Black North Pole!