Cece Quote #52
Jess: Cece. Cece. Cece, wait, do you want to talk?
Cece: Jess, you don't get it. Sadie basically just told me that if I want to have a kid, I've got to start right now. Right now. I thought I had all of this time. I didn't want to have to think about this.
Jess: I know, I know, I'm sorry. I made you take the test. What can I do?
Cece: Make me a guy so I don't have to worry about this.
Jess: You know what? Yes. Yeah, let's be guys just for today. Let's, let's care about stupid things, talk about sharks and sci-fi movies and making everything wireless. "Dude, my phone is wireless, my computer is wireless. Everything's wireless, yeah."
Cece: You're a terrible guy.
Jess: "Come on." No, I'm the best guy. Come on, come on.
New Girl Quotes
‘Eggs’ Quotes
Quote from Jess
Jess: Guess what I'm worried about? This sound. You know what that sound is? It's the sound of an empty uterus. I don't need test results to tell me that it is The Grapes of Wrath in there. It is 1930s Dust Bowl in there, Schmidt. And they're all walking with limps.
Quote from Jess
Jess: I'm 30, I'm single, and I just started a new job. Tonight I used a bread roll to wipe butter off my face, and then I ate the bread roll, so I essentially used my face as a butter knife. I don't think I'm ready to bring new life into the world, but... what if all that's left are the weird eggs? And the evil eggs?
Cece: You have no evil eggs.
Jess: I can feel them. They're turning. They watched their brothers and sisters die, and now they want to be birthed. I need to be fertilized. [shouting out the window] Fertilize me, Los Angeles!
Cece: Calm down, all right? You're overreacting.
Jess: I am overreacting! You know why? Because I want a family. I want to give my nipples a purpose. [out the window] Give my nipples a purpose!
Man: Oh, yeah!
Jess: Oh, God, that was a mistake. Duck down. That was a mistake. We're taking that test.
Quote from Jess
Sadie: Well, I think that you guys made a really smart decision coming in here today.
Jess: Sadie, once at a senior graduation party, I sat in a very hot Jacuzzi for... 12 hours. Is there any chance that I sunny-side upped my eggs?
Sadie: No, Jess.
Jess: Oh, between the years of 1998 and 2005, I used a lot of self-tanner. Like, a lot. Is that a possibility of, um... Do I...
Sadie: Okay. Nope. Here we go.
Jess: I once fell on a pommel horse...