Jess Quote #331
Jess: Sadie, um, hey. Uh, I just, I just want you to know that I am, um, I'm like ... I am okay with whatever you tell me. I'm just like, if you say you've got a year, that's fine. If you say, like, "You can have kids till you're 80," that's fine, too. If you say, "You are barren," um, I'm, I'm okay with that, too. Um, just, why am I the only one talking? Just lay it on me. What's inside my body?
Sadie: Everything looks good, Jess. Your hormone levels are outstanding.
Jess: What?
Sadie: Actually these are off the charts for someone your age. I mean, I don't know how you're walking around with this many eggs.
Jess: [sings] I'm the egg queen I'm queen of the eggs.
New Girl Quotes
‘Eggs’ Quotes
Quote from Jess
Jess: Guess what I'm worried about? This sound. You know what that sound is? It's the sound of an empty uterus. I don't need test results to tell me that it is The Grapes of Wrath in there. It is 1930s Dust Bowl in there, Schmidt. And they're all walking with limps.
Quote from Jess
Jess: I'm 30, I'm single, and I just started a new job. Tonight I used a bread roll to wipe butter off my face, and then I ate the bread roll, so I essentially used my face as a butter knife. I don't think I'm ready to bring new life into the world, but... what if all that's left are the weird eggs? And the evil eggs?
Cece: You have no evil eggs.
Jess: I can feel them. They're turning. They watched their brothers and sisters die, and now they want to be birthed. I need to be fertilized. [shouting out the window] Fertilize me, Los Angeles!
Cece: Calm down, all right? You're overreacting.
Jess: I am overreacting! You know why? Because I want a family. I want to give my nipples a purpose. [out the window] Give my nipples a purpose!
Man: Oh, yeah!
Jess: Oh, God, that was a mistake. Duck down. That was a mistake. We're taking that test.
Quote from Jess
Sadie: Well, I think that you guys made a really smart decision coming in here today.
Jess: Sadie, once at a senior graduation party, I sat in a very hot Jacuzzi for... 12 hours. Is there any chance that I sunny-side upped my eggs?
Sadie: No, Jess.
Jess: Oh, between the years of 1998 and 2005, I used a lot of self-tanner. Like, a lot. Is that a possibility of, um... Do I...
Sadie: Okay. Nope. Here we go.
Jess: I once fell on a pommel horse...