Schmidt Quote #309
Schmidt: And I know how much you love cookies. And I saw it there behind the glass, and I thought, "Nick Miller... I'm gonna buy him that."
Nick: If I could give you that cookie back, I would. Nothing would make me happier than to throw it up, mash it into cookie-shape, and shove it down your throat!
Schmidt: You wanna mama-bird me the cookie?
Nick: No, that's not...
Schmidt: You wanna mama-bird me the cookie?
Nick: No.
Schmidt: You're not mama-birding anybody any cookie.
Nick: Schmidt, I don't want to mama-bird you a cookie. What is your problem, Schmidt?
Schmidt: No mama-birding here!
New Girl Quotes
‘Models’ Quotes
Quote from Nick
Nick: Uh, Schmidt, I got you something, man. Uh, they didn't have a Jewish star at the store, so I got you a regular cookie and I made the star myself by breaking off the pieces. It's meant to celebrate your Jewish heritage.
Schmidt: What is this?
Nick: A Jewish star... I just said that.
Winston: Hey, hey, Schmidt, just...
Schmidt: This... Is so terrible!
Nick: You gave me a cookie, I gave you a cookie. You gave me a cookie, gave you cookie. Gave me cookie, got you cookie! You gave me cookie, I got you cookie, man! Gave me cookie, got you cookie! We're even! We're even, Schmidt! I mean, what do you want from me? What do you want, Schmidt? I've been racking my brain all day. I walked around the grocery store, man, for 45 minutes. I didn't know what to get you. And then I was thinking I was gonna get you ramen like we used to eat, but you probably eat, like, fancy ramen now with, like, figs in it. I don't know, man. You love me too much, Schmidt, and you picked the wrong guy. And when are you gonna get that through that giant head of yours? I'm just gonna let you down, man.
Quote from Jess
Jess: [sings] Happy birthday, dude!
Cece: Hello.
Jess: I made you a cake.
Cece: Can't. Booked a car show for tomorrow, and I have been so good this week. I lost four pounds.
Jess: Oh, come on, Cece. It's your birthday. We're gonna eat cake, we're gonna watch Clueless on VHS, and we're gonna try to make prom dresses out of towels. Obviously, just like we always do.
[flashback:]
Young Jess: As if! As if is, like, the funniest thing ever.
Young Cece: I wish I had a stepbrother to fall in love with.
Young Jess: I know, right? Paul Rudd.
Quote from Cece
Cece: You and I have never spent my birthday apart, ever. Except for the one time in seventh grade where you walked out of my sleepover because you claimed...
Jess: When you struck me in the breast.
Cece: But I didn't even touch boob, because you know, we all knew you were stuffing...
Jess: Oh, my God. We were all stuffing. Stuffing? We all stuffed.
Cece: You've seen my grandmother. I was not stuffing.
Jess: Yes, we were. It was seventh grade.
Cece: I've been like this since I was seven.