Jess Quote #222
Jess: I'm just really disappointed in you.
Nick: You know, maybe I'll be more like you, Jess, and I'll go run into the kitchen and make pastries with sprinklies on them...
Jess: That isn't what I do.
Nick: Then throw some dumb pajama outfit on, and then tell other people how to live their lives!
Jess: It's not a pajama outfit! They're called pajamas!
Nick: That's what I said!
Jess: Nick, why don't you go back in your room and put on your stupid flannel and keep not living up to your potential!
New Girl Quotes
‘Tomatoes’ Quotes
Quote from Schmidt
Schmidt: Are you serious? How do you look this good under fluorescent lights?
Cece: I am so, so sorry. Okay? This is all my fault. I thought... What happened?
Schmidt: [clears throat] Yeah, um... this is embarrassing. I broke my penis.
Cece: You what?
Schmidt: I broke my penis. Things got... I mean, just out of control with Nadia last night. And there was like this one moment where it was just blinding pain. And then there was another moment where I was like watching myself watch myself... I think I finally understand what The Tree of Life is about. And I can't be certain of this, but I'm almost positive that Nadia's vagina contains a right angle.
Quote from Schmidt
Schmidt: Oh, my God, my penis is having a heart attack. Don't touch me, don't touch me.
Cece: Okay. I...
Schmidt: You gotta get out of here.
Cece: All right.
Schmidt: I mean, I'd-I'd like... don't bend over! For crying out loud! What are you, nuts? I'm sorry, it's the yoga pants.
Cece: I'm sorry for this, but I... I like you.
Schmidt: And I like you, too, so much. Call a nurse, call a male nurse. Probably a heavy-set male nurse would be nice.
Cece: Bye.
Schmidt: Describe it to them as like a... as a battered highway cone.
Quote from Jess
Nick: This is my feeble attempt at a new beginning.
Jess: He's sowing the seeds for a more fruitful tomorrow. He is turning over a new leaf. He is...
Nick: Jess, please don't do plant metaphors right now.
Jess: Okay, I'll trim it back a little bit.
Nick: Okay, but you did it again.
Jess: It's just ripe with plant metaphors.
Nick: Okay, but stop. I'm looking at you guys, and I'm realizing that there's a possibility of happiness.
Jess: He's looking for a little dapple of sunlight.
Nick: Go.