Jess Quote #206

Quote from Jess in Kids

Ouli: I can be here in under five minutes if I need to be. Honestly I wouldn't have agreed to this, except my husband is out of town, and you're Sarah's favorite teacher and my husband's favorite teacher.
Jess: [chuckles] Um, hey, um, I hope this doesn't sound rude, but, um, you keep saying "husband" and I just want to make sure you and Russell... you're not still married?
Ouli: [laughing] Oh... no, no. [both laughing]
Jess: 'Cause I just, like, wanted to make sure there wasn't some very important piece of information that I totally missed.
Ouli: No, I mean, but he'll always be my husband, if you know what I mean.
Jess: Yeah. Actually, could you explain what you mean very clearly?

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 ‘Kids’ Quotes

Quote from Jess

Jess: So... that was crazy what happened with my friends, right?
Sarah: I liked it. Your life's like Gossip Girl, only everyone is old and poor.
Jess: You know, there actually was a show like that. It was called Golden Girls. I'm Betty White, Schmidt's Rue McClanahan...

Quote from Cece

Jess: But you're using birth control, right?
Cece: Yeah, of course. It's just that Schmidt gets so athletic that birth control becomes like one of those plastic barbecue covers in a hurricane.
Jess: I didn't want to know that.

Quote from Schmidt

Schmidt: I've been doing some thinking, and I think it's time that I take you on a real date.
Cece: You're asking me out on a date?
Schmidt: Yeah, it'll be our first real date. Now, Italy on Ice is a celebration of all things Italian featuring ice dancing's biggest and brightest Italian stars. Drea de Matteo is scheduled to appear, but, you know, they're not liable if she doesn't.