Jess Quote #198

Quote from Jess in Normal

Russell: You guys, my contractor knows a really great plumber.
Schmidt: Please. I know the best plumbers in the business.
Winston: [scoffs] White guy knows a plumber.
Jess: Sorry. Plumbing's, like, a really sensitive topic around here.
Russell: I-I didn't know.
Jess: I mean, who would?

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 ‘Normal’ Quotes

Quote from Jess

Jess: These are hangover eggs. See, they'll either stop you from throwing up the rest of the day or you'll just throw it up really fast. It's high-risk, high-reward.

Quote from Nick

Nick: As my financial business partner, I appreciate you taking the time. All right, Russell said we need a prototype. So, Mr. Schmidt, I now present you "Real Apps." The phone obviously goes back here where the phone goes, and then these are all the apps. You've got a Zippo. You've got a fork. You've got a spoon. That's a corn holder. It's also a gentleman's shiv.
Schmidt: Nick, it's a prototype of a prototype at best. Let me see it.
Nick: No. Don't be mean about it.
Schmidt: Come on, let me see it.
Nick: You got a bottle opener.

Quote from Nick

Russell: Relapse?
Nick: Real Apps.
Schmidt: Real Apps.
Russell: Relapse?
Nick: Relapse?!
Schmidt: Would you calm...?
Nick: You called my baby "relapse"?!
Schmidt: No, I didn't call it anything. Just calm down!
Nick: I gave you 51% of this for Relapse?