Schmidt Quote #68
Quote from Schmidt in Bad in Bed
Beth: Another bathroom break, Schmidt? You know, I've been timing you all day. Seven minutes and 23 seconds. I wonder what was going on in there. Hmm? You pooped.
Schmidt: Can you stop timing me, please? It's ridiculous that you do that.
Beth: I will break you. Hey, Lisa! You were on fire last night, girl! [to Schmidt] I'm taking her job.
Schmidt: What did you do last night?
Beth: Everyone from the office went to Jill's bachelorette party.
Schmidt: Why don't I get invited places? Is it because I'm the only man in the office?
Beth: "Man." That's adorable.
New Girl Quotes
‘Bad in Bed’ Quotes
Quote from Jess
Jess: [British accent] Mr. Darcy's going to love my new bonnet.
Cece: Why are we here?
Jess: You don't understand. You've never been cheated on before. Spencer and I never tried anything new, and maybe if I'd been... more erotic...
Cece: Spencer cheated on you because he's a total jerk, not 'cause you're bad in bed.
Jess: It's been six years. Everything I know about sex, I learned from Spencer or the Clinton impeachment trial.
Quote from Paul
Jess: I just haven't had sex with anyone but Spencer in six years, and I get so nervous. It's like starting a new job with a really weird interview.
Paul: Don't worry about it. I'm good. I'm more than good. It's okay.
Jess: You know what? Tomorrow night. Let's just go out to dinner and then just nail each other. Just pound each other. V-bomb on the P-bomb. [makes explosion noise]
Paul: I would have the... P-bomb, right?
Quote from Jess
Jess: Hey, guys, I don't have much time. Can we get this back on track? I need to know what to do. Would flicking be, like, a cool thing?
Schmidt: No.
Nick: No!
Winston: Absolutely not.
Schmidt: How about role play? Do you know any voices?
Jess: Yes. I can do an old-timey newscaster, like, "Hey there, son, I'm gonna kick you into next Tuesday, see?"