Winston: Here's what I was thinking, okay? If we want to win this concert, we play something cool, like "Eye of the Tiger."
Girl: What's "Eye of the Tiger"?
Winston: "Eye of the Tiger" is the greatest song ever written. It's so cool, it ended the Cold War.
Jess: That's not even a little bit true.

Nick: What are you doing?
Schmidt: [sniffs] Lotusberry Relax. Lotusberry Relax. I can smell it on you right now!
Nick: Fine! Stop smelling my hair!
Schmidt: You know how much that stuff costs?
Nick: Okay, Schmidt, I didn't use your conditioner.
Schmidt: Why does your hair look so baby soft?!
Nick: Fine, Schmidt! I ran out of shampoo and I used your conditioner. We're talking about conditioner, right?
Schmidt: You used it as shampoo?! It's for moisture, Nick, not for cleaning! I can't believe we're friends. Give me it back, man.
Nick: Give you what back?
Schmidt: Give me it back.
Nick: Think about what you're doing right now.
Schmidt: I'm squeezing it out of your hair.

Schmidt: I will not apologize again for the Midori Sours!
Nick: Who drinks Midori Sours?!
Schmidt: Everyone drinks Midori Sours!
Nick: No, they don't!
Schmidt: It's a melon liqueur!
Nick: I would never drink one!
Schmidt: It's an American classic with Asian influences!
Nick: Winston would never drink one!