Jess: So, you know in horror movies when the girl's like, "Oh my God, there's something in the basement. Let me just run down there in my underwear and see what's going on in the dark", and you're like, "What is your problem? Call the police", and she's like "Okay" but it's too late because she's already getting murdered. Well, uh, my story's kind of like that.

Jess: Hello? I came home early.
Spencer: Jess. What-
Jess: Who's Jess? You're talking to...Tiger Boobs. [takes off her coat]
Spencer: Oh...
Jess: [sings] I'm doing sexy things with the pillow.
Spencer: This-
Jess: I'm doing sexy stuff to the plant right here.
Spencer: Woah, okay.
Jess: I'll pick that up later. [sings] Who's that girl? Who's that girl? [spins around naked] It's Jess!

Nick: It's okay, hey, don't cry. [singing badly] For I've had the time of my life.
Coach: What is he doing?
Nick: And I've never felt this way before. Yes it's true. Na na na na na, and it's... [hits Coach] something something something, something something.
Coach: [sings] Oh, those bears, in my house...
Nick: And it's the song that really really makes you happy.
Schmidt: I'm not uh, I'm not doing any of this. [Nick hits him; sings:] Just remember, you're the one thing, I can't get enough of.
[As Jess laughs, the three guys all sing different lyrics]
All: I've had The time of my life And I owe it all to you
Nick: Come on, what time is it?
All: The time of my life.