Schmidt Quote #6
Schmidt: Okay, Jess, game time. Let's do this. If you wanna forget about Spencer, you're gonna have to do some very very bad things... with that man, right over there.
Jess: How bad?
Schmidt: Real bad, Jess. Real bad.
Jess: Like a, make-out sess, no tops?
Schmidt: Okay, this is what- This is what's gonna happen. You're gonna go over there and you're gonna stand next to him and you're gonna smile. [Jess smiles creepily] But, you're not gonna smile like that. [Jess shows a toothy smile] That looks like a hungry badger.
New Girl Quotes
‘Pilot’ Quotes
Quote from Nick
Waitress: I'm sorry. We're gonna have to ask you to give up the table.
Jess: Um, can I please just stay, just a little bit longer?
Nick: [rushes in with the guys] We're here. Yup. We're here, Jess! We're here.
Schmidt: We're here for the date, the date thing.
Waitress: You're all on a date?
Nick: Yeah we are. We're her boyfriends. We are reverse Mormons. One man just isn't enough for her.
Quote from Jess
Jess: So, you know in horror movies when the girl's like, "Oh my God, there's something in the basement. Let me just run down there in my underwear and see what's going on in the dark", and you're like, "What is your problem? Call the police", and she's like "Okay" but it's too late because she's already getting murdered. Well, uh, my story's kind of like that.
Quote from Jess
Jess: Hello? I came home early.
Spencer: Jess. What-
Jess: Who's Jess? You're talking to...Tiger Boobs. [takes off her coat]
Spencer: Oh...
Jess: [sings] I'm doing sexy things with the pillow.
Spencer: This-
Jess: I'm doing sexy stuff to the plant right here.
Spencer: Woah, okay.
Jess: I'll pick that up later. [sings] Who's that girl? Who's that girl? [spins around naked] It's Jess!