Schmidt Quote #2

Quote from Schmidt in Pilot

Nick: I'm sorry.
Coach: I'm his trainer so, er, it's kind of the house that coach built right here.
Nick: What are we looking at here? That's baby smooth.
Schmidt: This is LLS. Ladies Love Schmidt.
Coach: What!? What did you just say? Go put a dollar in the jar right now.
[The camera cuts to a jar labeled "Douchebag Jar"]
Schmidt: Are you serious?
Coach: Yeah! Now.
Schmidt: Dammit.
Nick: LLS, what is wrong with you?


 ‘Pilot’ Quotes

Quote from Nick

Waitress: I'm sorry. We're gonna have to ask you to give up the table.
Jess: Um, can I please just stay, just a little bit longer?
Nick: [rushes in with the guys] We're here. Yup. We're here, Jess! We're here.
Schmidt: We're here for the date, the date thing.
Waitress: You're all on a date?
Nick: Yeah we are. We're her boyfriends. We are reverse Mormons. One man just isn't enough for her.

Quote from Jess

Jess: So, you know in horror movies when the girl's like, "Oh my God, there's something in the basement. Let me just run down there in my underwear and see what's going on in the dark", and you're like, "What is your problem? Call the police", and she's like "Okay" but it's too late because she's already getting murdered. Well, uh, my story's kind of like that.

Quote from Jess

Jess: Hello? I came home early.
Spencer: Jess. What-
Jess: Who's Jess? You're talking to...Tiger Boobs. [takes off her coat]
Spencer: Oh...
Jess: [sings] I'm doing sexy things with the pillow.
Spencer: This-
Jess: I'm doing sexy stuff to the plant right here.
Spencer: Woah, okay.
Jess: I'll pick that up later. [sings] Who's that girl? Who's that girl? [spins around naked] It's Jess!