New Girl - Nick Quote #1158
Reagan: Can I throw out this, uh, soggy bag of cucumbers?
Winston: No! Those are pickles in progress. [groans]
Jess: Um, I don't mean to be mean, but you guys are being real babies about this whole thing.
Nick: [laughs] They don't...
Schmidt: Until you've had your sack waxed, you can't know this pain.
Jess: Excuse me?
Reagan: Weekly wax, top to tail.
Nick: We went through hell, and we came out the other side, gentlemen. It was war. Granted, one that took
place in a high end-spa, but still our war.
Quote from Nick
Winston: Wow. Check this out. Coach and May's foreign exchange student just added me as a friend. Montsie. His name is Montsie.
Nick: I didn't know they had a foreign exchange student.
Winston: I didn't know they moved to North Carolina.
Nick: Neither did I. [both laugh]
Schmidt: They moved to North Carol... what? How did none of us know about this? How is that possible?
Nick: Eh, they moved. It happened.
Schmidt: We need to make more of an effort. We don't even know that our friend has moved to a different state.
Winston: I mean, we're still friends. We just have nothing to do with each other.
Schmidt: This doesn't bother you?
Nick: Realistically, we'll probably see 'em two or three more times before we die. And it's sad, but it's also not that sad.
Nick: Who cares? What's for dinner?
Quote from Schmidt
Winston: Mmm. I really hate these things. I just can't stop eating 'em.
Nick: I got to say, the taste is average, but the aftertaste is outstanding.
Schmidt: What happens when I'm just an outstanding aftertaste?
Schmidt: When I move out, are you guys gonna forget about me like Coach? This loft is what tethers us together. And once it's gone, we're gonna be spread across the Earth like Rod Stewart's offspring.
Winston: What I'm gonna miss most about you is all this poetry.
Quote from Nick
Nick: I'm out! Like my mother says at every party she goes to, "No one touches my purse."
Quote from Young Adult
Nick: I'm using magnetic words to break through my writer's block, and it's not working. I've already folded all my shirts and masturbated six times, and I'm running out of things to do. I'm just in a real bind. You see, The Pepperwood Chronicles sold over 30 copies, Jess.
Jess: So, what, we're complaining about good things now?
Nick: It's just, my audience is gonna be clamoring for a sequel, and I can't leave those stevedores, those-those tugboat workers, those lighthouse keepers empty-handed.
Jess: You think that your audience is entirely made of, like...
Nick: Blue-collar nautical workers on the coastline of Maine. I don't think that, Jess, I know that.
Quote from Basketsball
Nick: Hey, where are you guys getting your photos developed these days? I got these beefcake selfies that I want to dangle in front of Jess, get her engine revved up.
Schmidt: Your phone has a camera, Nick.
Nick: These are sexy, sensual, private pics. I don't want them beamed right into Snowden's pocket. I'm not going through Wikileaks, man. It's not for me. Analog. It's the only thing you can trust.
Winston: You care to elaborate, you know, on this whole analog thing?
Nick: No, here's the reality, you never know what's gonna happen with a phone.
Nick: The hinges that hold the flip together, they get loosened over time when... when they get wet. And then once you open it, it's easier for people to go in there and see your passwords and, you know, see your codes. Once the screen breaks, your information's in the Twitterverse, man. And it's all out there for everyone to see, all these little monkey elves, man, all these kids. That's all they do. [sputters] Get your information, man. Bottom line is you can't control your technology. That's what's going on in Japan with all those robots. Not for me, man. That's why I trust a hard copy. Plain and simple.
Quote from Goldmine
Nick: When I came out, was it flashy? Was it emotional? Am I mad that Anderson Cooper doesn't fly the flag? Or for what he's doing in his own way-- is it even braver?
Jess: These are all really good questions, but I just can't get my mind off, like, why you dress this way. Why aren't you in better shape?
Nick: Don't put me in a box! There's nothing we gay men hate more than being put in a box.
Nick: Look, maybe I'm a bear, maybe I'm a twinkler.
Jess: That's not a category.
Nick: [loudly] I like rugby for the game and for the men. Now, if you excuse me, I got to go do that gay thing I was telling you about, because, of course, I'm gay as hell. [Jess laughs] Bye.
Jess: [whispers] That's not how gay men talk.
Nick: [whispers] I am shattering stereotypes.