Schmidt Quote #1156
Jess: Anyway, I just have to wear this thing for the next few days just as a precaution.
Schmidt: Well, if you want to cover it up, Cece gave me a scarf that's perfect. It's long enough to wrap around an above-ground pool filled with Alfredo sauce. Alfredo sauce. Doesn't that sound good?
Jess: Not really.
Schmidt: I don't know. Maybe Cece's right. Maybe I am turning into a fat man.
Jess: Cece never called you fat.
Schmidt: Well, I am. I'm a fat man married to a hot woman. Cool, I'm a sitcom.
Jess: That sounds like a great show. Throw in a wacky neighbor, I'm watching.
Jess: Maybe the reason why you don't want to go to the gym is 'cause you want to hang out with your beautiful wife. Right? And you're fat and happy because you're happy.
Schmidt: You're right. I'm a lucky man.
Jess: A Lucky Man should be the name of your show. You're a beleaguered casino owner, and a father of three.
New Girl Quotes
‘Ready’ Quotes
Quote from Nick
Nick: Okay, I know for a fact... that this was the most attractive man in America for ten years. [holds up a Cheers publicity photo of Ted Danson] I know that because magazines told me so. But... Okay... Hey, Donovan, could you copy that? You guys don't look anything alike.
Donovan: Okay.
Nick: Okay.
Quote from Cece
Cece: Donovan, these terms are unacceptable. He's really screwing you.
Donovan: Aw.
Cece: You know what? I'm gonna get on the phone with him, because if we start treating our attractive people like this, our society is gonna collapse.
Quote from Winston
Winston: Nick, please, that dude is hot as hell, man. He is a member of the Hall of Fine. He's more attractive than Joe Mangaroni. Manga... Joe Menden...
Nick: Who are you thinking of?
Winston: Magic Mike's friend.
Cece: Oh, he's married to that...
Nick: Yeah, J Lo.
Nick: Joe Mangallini.
Winston: Joe Mangallini. He's more attractive than Joe Mangallini.