‘Homecoming’
Season 6, Episode 4 - Aired October 11, 2016
The gang head to New York where Schmidt is about to be honored by his high school. Meanwhile, Jess has a run in with the officers of Brooklyn's ninety-ninth precinct [Brooklyn Nine-Nine].
Quote from Jess
Cece: [answers phone] Jess?
Jess: Hey, Cece, I-I know I'm late. It's this freakin' city.
Cece: Huh?
Jess: A cop wrecked Louise's car.
Cece: What?
Jess: I'm waiting to talk to his captain.
Cece: What are you talking about right now?
Jess: Just tell her it's fine.
Cece: Did you tell Schmidt to do a roast tonight?
Jess: Funk yeah, I did. That's how you deal with this town.
Quote from Schmidt
Schmidt: Mom, how's this? "In conclusion, you're ugly. I make money. You just got roasted by the California Kid."
Louise: I think it's sensational.
Quote from Nick
Nick: We're not ready yet!
Winston: We're not ready yet, 'cause I got to do something that you didn't know I was about to do.
Nick: Do it!
Winston: Blow your mind.
Nick: Oh.
Winston: Another piece of the puzzle!
Nick: Whoa! We're taking it to the top!
Charles Boyle: Do it, do it, [chanting "Do it!"]
Nick: Thank you for starting that chant.
Charles Boyle: You got it.
Quote from Nick
Winston: Okay, it's, uh... it's looking like we have to do it.
Nick: Okay, I don't know what "it" is.
Winston: "It" is looking like a jump.
Nick: Okay, that is bone-chilling news. It's too long.
Quote from Jess
Jess: Oh, Dragon! Did I miss it?
Dragon: Uh-uh. It's cool.
Jess: That's a really realistic-looking costume, with the smoke and everything. Oh, you're just hotboxing.
Dragon: Yeah.
Jess: Yeah, I'm a vice principal. [Dragon runs for the exit and crashes into the fire escape] Hey...
Dragon: Oh!
Jess: You're a mess, dude.
Quote from Jess
Jess: Wait, wait, Schmidt.
Schmidt: What? What, is my makeup too thick?
Jess: What? No, no, you look great. Uh, look, you can't do this. I was wrong.
Schmidt: Wh... What are you talking about? This was your idea.
Jess: I know. But I was wrong. You can't be mad at these people.
Schmidt: But they were all horrible to me Jess.
Jess: And that's why you left. You created your own path. You changed cities. You made friends. You found your purpose. You met the love of your life.
Schmidt: I sure did.
Jess: Just enjoy your evening. You know, you have nothing to say to these people. If anything... Thank you.
Quote from Nick
Nick: I can't wait to see the look on Schmidt's face when he realizes we made it.
Winston: Well, he wanted us to make it.
Nick: As I was saying, though, I can't wait to see the look on his face when he realizes that we made it, though, right?
Winston: That's just gonna be like, "Oh."
Nick: I know, but... just be exc... Yeah, I can't wait, though, right?