‘Heat Wave’
Season 5, Episode 9 - Aired March 1, 2016
When a heat wave hits the city, Nick refuses to hang out in Reagan's air-conditioned room. Meanwhile, Winston finds his "cop voice".
Quote from Cece
Schmidt: So you went?
Cece: I did.
Schmidt: Well, that's amazing. How did it go?
Cece: Real bad.
Schmidt: It went real bad?
Cece: Yeah.
Schmidt: Okay, well, you know what? about it, baby, I'm sure...
Cece: No, no, no, no. It was, it was legitimately terrible but not because I'm not talented. I went to the bar first so I was wasted and wearing shorts, which I won't do next time.
Quote from Schmidt
Cece: Thank you for pushing me. We need to do that kind of thing for each other.
Schmidt: Yes, please. I agree, unless, of course, it's about me using face wash all over my body.
Cece: Ah, this again, really?
Schmidt: I don't care that it's expensive.
Cece: I know that you don't care.
Schmidt: I'm just gonna keep on doing it.
Quote from Nick
Nick: I have a crush on you.
Reagan: Isn't that better? Now we can just put it behind us, move on, don't have to be weird.
Nick: No, I, obviously, I-I know it's not gonna be a problem, Reagan. I don't have any illusion that you're gonna go for a guy like me. I am a total mess. I understand that. I mean, you're-you're beautiful, and-and you're smart, and you're-you're mean, but in a hot way. And-and you have the-the mind of a electrician, which is so confusingly hot, because that is not, like, a sexy... [Reagan kisses Nick]
Quote from Cece
Cece: Okay. While you're gassing up, let's look at the stock merkins. Marts... Nope! Is this... is this here? Or is it more here? Your frame? Because I don't want to just be like, you know, a head that's like... Scientists have discovered a new kind of butter. Fly in the Amazon. What the crap does that mean? I'm so sorry. Sorry, sorry, sorry. You don't... Is this...? I don't know who I borrowed this from.
Quote from Nick
Nick: We are visitors, let's act like it. Hello, rats? Hello?! I come to hurt ya. Okay, for those who have not been scared off, I actually come in peace. My name is Nick. I've been down here a lot.
Reagan: [high-pitched voice] Hello, Nicholas. I'm Jeremiah. [normally] Sorry.
Nick: Why would you...?
Reagan: It's funny.
Nick: Very clever.
Reagan: You got really scared.
Nick: I'm not so scared, but don't ever do that again. It's also a very good rat voice.
Reagan: Thank you.
Nick: But it is a terrible rat name. Jeremiah? That would never be the name of a rat. It's name is, like, Sushi. Or "Ma-cushi."