Nick: Here, take your bottoms off, put these sweatpants on.
Schmidt: You take your bottoms off, sir!
Nick: Why don't you take your slacks off, so I can put some sweatpants on? Now take your bottoms off.
Schmidt: I'm not gonna sit around here all day like an off-duty ice cream truck driver!
Kai: I confiscated three laptops, two tablets and an e-reader. Oh, and this satellite phone with a condom taped to it.
Schmidt: My earthquake kit?