Cece: It's gonna be okay.
Schmidt: Hey, what happened to the "turlet"?
Jess: Schmidt, you're here. So we're in a little bit of a thing right now, but you're our best cleaner. We might be out of towels, but you'll figure out something. Right? It's gonna be fun.
Schmidt: Jess, are you crying right now?
Jess: I don't know. I hadn't noticed. Um... [sniffles] I might be on drugs.
Cece: You gonna help mop or are you just gonna try to kiss me again?
Schmidt: Oh, please. You kissed me back. Your... I felt your lips surrender. And who's this Paul anyway? Paul.
What, does he work in a pizzeria?
Cece: Yes, Schmidt, I went on a date with a guy named Paul. You just need to get over it.
Schmidt: Paul. Paul. Nice name, dude.
Cece: Why is your shirt off?
Schmidt: I've seen New Jack City, okay? They all take their shirts off in the crack cocaine lab!