Jess: Guys, stop attacking each other! Come on. He's making fun of you 'cause he feels sensitive about his geisha waist. And you're putting him down 'cause you've got those cute little kitten teats. Everybody has something.
Schmidt: She's right, you know. She's right. Look, I grew up fat, and I have scars that you can't see. And I'm not talking about the stretch marks that I had removed by laser beams. No matter how many miles I run, I'll never outrun that feeling.
Coach: Damn, son. I didn't even know it was like that.
Schmidt: It'll always be like that, my man.
Coach: Still better than having a micro penis.
Schmidt: So much better.
Coach: Yeah.
Nick: It's true.