Schmidt: Okay, first test. Now, I'm gonna say something, and you tell me what's really being said. "Oh, you know, I'm just staying in a hotel right now."
Jess: "I like to travel."
Schmidt: [buzzing] Homeless. Pervert. "Oh, my God, my mom is just the most amazing woman."
Jess: Oh. "I love my mother."
Schmidt: [buzzing] Virgin. And somehow also a pervert. "I kind of prefer public transportation."
Jess: Oh. Earth-conscious.
Schmidt: [buzzing] Multiple DUIs. [buzzing] Pervert.