Schmidt: You know, I've been thinking a lot about your sleeping arrangements and...
Nick: Weird.
Schmidt: I might have an idea on how to make things a little bit less weird.
Jess: Really? What is it?
Schmidt: Two words. Bunk beds.
Nick: No. [laughs] No, I'm not putting bunk beds in my room, Schmidt.
Schmidt: Not in your room. In my room. It'll be just like college, my man. Only with way more sex.
Jess: What?
Schmidt: That came out wrong.
Nick: I'm not bunking with you, Schmidt.
Jess: Yeah, he is.
Schmidt: Yeah, he is.
Nick: Yeah, he is. There's gonna be a lot of rules, and I'm gonna make most of them.
Schmidt: You can make them all, man! Except for the ones that I make! [both laugh] First one in gets dibs!