Nick: Life changes. You got to grow up. I did. I'm in a relationship, and I'm happy. Schmidt moved out of the loft, and he's happy.
Schmidt: I'm miserable! It's your fault.
Nick: What are you talking about?
Schmidt: I'm in a vacancy room! A room of vacancy! Empty nest!
Nick: By choice! By choice!
Schmidt: Let me tell you something, when I'm done with you, your face is gonna look all melted like the president at the end of Raiders.
Nick: He wasn't a president! You saw a different movie than everybody else in the world!
Schmidt: I'll kill you!