Jess: Are you a lifeguard?
Nick: No, that is a false certificate. Just a classic beach prank.
Jess: That seems dangerous.
Nick: It's funny, 'cause I I can't swim. Everyone was watching me, and I'm like, "I don't know". I was 13! I was 26. This is the problem with the box. It's my private stuff.
Jess: You've never once done jury duty or paid your taxes.
Nick: Not until gay marriage is legal everywhere. I stand by that. And I don't want to do jury duty or pay taxes.