Nick: Would you trust me? You're gonna be fine. You're gonna meet somebody and... you're gonna fall in love and then... before you know it, you're gonna...
Jess: With who, Nick? Who's gonna... lay a flag down on this sweet, sweet continent?
Schmidt: I'll man up. But I must warn you, Jess ... I don't have sperms. I have tadpoles. Of the gods. That's right. And I'm gonna give 'em to you. You can have 'em all, for all I care. That's how much I love you. I feel your pain in this situation. I want you to have babies. Take my sperms.