Nick: I'm not doing a parent trap.
Jess: Nick, they got married too young, they got divorced too young. I think this could really make them happy. They need us. Here's the plan: We're gonna make my mom look so hot that my dad can't resist her.
Nick: Your parent trap ... there's no identical twins or mistaken identity? Not a parent trap, it's a makeover.
Jess: The only thing you have to do is distract my dad.
Nick: A parent trap takes weeks of scheduling. I feel like you're just throwing this together. This is a makeshift parent trap; They don't work. I don't know, I've got something bad inside of me. I ruin things. Let's do this parent trap.