Jess: Question: Under what circumstances would you build a dresser for a woman?
Sam: And this is, like... and I'm not interested in sleeping with her? Um... Am I being blackmailed?
Jess: No.
Sam: Is it like a... it's like a Make-A-Wish Foundation type thing?
Jess: No.
Sam: I mean... Yeah. Marriage. You know, anything besides marriage is a... you know, an abuse.
Jess: An abuse?
Sam: Yeah, you can't do that to a friend. Unless your friend's a chump. Or a certified carpenter... that would work. Wait a minute. This isn't a sex thing, is it? Because I... you know, I can't pleasure a woman and build a dresser at the same time, you know? I'm not God.