Schmidt: Nick, are you kid...? What, you keep the ringer on? Amateur move, man.
Nick: Yeah, I'm just in over my head. Schmidt, I hate asking you this, but how do you do this?
Schmidt: Oh, glory be, are you asking for my help? Oh, I-I'm flattered.
Winston: Pull up, pull up, Nick. Yank back on that yoke.
Nick: We have to face the reality of the situation. Schmidt has been having consensual sex with Cece and lying about it. He's better than us at this, Winston, and I hate it as much as you do, and, Schmidt, I hate saying this, but I might... I might respect you.
Schmidt: Thank you for saying that.
Nick: You've come a long way, man.
Schmidt: Since my 20s, I've had a string of lesser paramours which, like weathered stone steps, have led me to the Hindu temple, a.k.a. Cece, because she's Indian.