Schmidt: I lost it. I lost the party bus.
Jess: The party bus for your birthday party?
Schmidt: Yeah. Apparently, my business isn't as important as Frankie Muniz's. They canceled my rez. There's nothing I can do. The party's off.
Jess: You should torch them on Yelp. Actually, I can do it. I have an account under the name Fantastic Jacques. He's a French diplomat with very little patience.
Winston: Or you could just get another bus.
Schmidt: In two days? Okay, yeah, sure, Winston. W-Why don't I just go down to the party bus store, where all the party buses have a state-of-the-art sound system, a stripper pole, a love grotto, and a steering wheel in the shape of a boob. You honk the nipple. It's pretty awesome.
Nick: Just have the party at a bar.
Schmidt: Nick, this is it. This is my 29th birthday party. This is the year. After this, I don't know, it's just... just all darkness.