Winston: You know what? I think I might actually have a chance with her. I just have to be cooler than that guy.
Schmidt: Parkour! A wise man once foretold of a magical night where I would engage in nonsexual foreplay with a model, my friends. And tonight...
Nick: Don't say...
Schmidt: ...is that night.
Winston: No, not a chance. Never gonna happen. You're not a closer.
Schmidt: Oh, I'm a closer. I'm gonna close this conversation right now, my brother. Watch this. Boom, bam, closed. Parkour! Short track speed skating. Apolo Ohno.