Jess: Is it bad that I can't feel my legs?
Schmidt: Yes. Now let's talk about my problems. Jess, I have to go home with Brooke tonight. I deserve someone like Brooke, she's perfect and it doesn't matter that I have gymnastic mean spirited, highly educational sex with Gretchen. It's just, that's not what I want to do anymore, okay? Not tonight.
Jess: What's so bad about liking Gretchen? I mean you guys obviously have like a weird connection.
Schmidt: No, no, no. I wanna connect with Brooke. I wanna connect with her in the shower, on the floor, sitting Indian style.
Jess: Okay, you know what, you can keep talking but I'm gonna put my hands over my ears.