Jess: I don't know if I'm ready.
Schmidt: You're totally ready for it. I'll take you through the whole thing. You know, I'll be like your guide.
Jess: Like Gandalf through Middle-earth?
Schmidt: Probably not like... Okay, first of all, let's take the Lord of the Rings references, let's put 'em in a deep, dark cave, okay, where no one's gonna find them, ever.
Jess: Except Smeagol. [whispers] He lives in a cave.