Schmidt: Nick, I want to tell you something, but... but I can't. So I'm just gonna ask you this: why on earth do you think that you are so okay with this Reagan breakup?
Nick: Reagan and I are at different places of our life. It's fine. Why hasn't Jess called me back?
Schmidt: You guys are pretty good friends, right? But if you remember correctly, you didn't even want Jess to move in to the loft. Nick, why do you think that is?
Nick: I'm pretty freaked out by sanitary napkins.
Schmidt: Why don't you think you wanted Jess to move in to the loft?
Nick: I don't know, 'cause I, 'cause I was afraid.
Schmidt: Nick, you have been in love with this girl from the moment you opened the door and you first laid eyes on her. I have never seen you look at anyone else like that in my entire life. Except maybe, on a few occasions, me.
Nick: I've never looked at you the same way I look at Jess.
Schmidt: There's just been a few times.
Nick: I-- there's never been a time.
Schmidt: You looked at Coach maybe once or twice like that. Me, several times. Winston, never. Let's table it.
Nick: You're wrong. The first time I saw Jess was I was standing in her empty room, and I was looking out the window. She was trying to get in the building.
Schmidt: Okay.
Nick: Pretty hilarious. She didn't have her glasses on, and she was bumping into stuff.
Schmidt: Will you listen to yourself? I shouldn't be telling you this, but... Jess is not in Portland. She's here. And she's packing up her stuff because she's going to move out of the loft for good.
Merle Streep: Nick.
Nick: Wait, she's gonna move out of the loft?
Schmidt: For once in your life, don't be afraid.