Jess: Hey. Ted. Um... [clears throat] I'm out of moves, so... I'm just gonna try being myself. Here's some stuff about me: I've never cured anything. I'm a middle school vice principal and I love my job. Um, I'm just getting out of a relationship with a guy that I still live with, which is kind of complicated. He's over there. What's up, Nick?
Nick: Hi, I'm Nick!
Jess: Sometimes I cry when newscasters wish each other "Happy Birthday" on air. My first crush was on a Batman cake, but my first sexual feelings were about teenage Simba. 'Cause he was super hot, and I still, actually, find him hot. Uh, truth time. Um... So that's me. And if you want to take me home, Ted, we can definitely do some no-bra stuff.
Kat: Uh... [shows picture] That's me naked.
Jess: Well... ...and this is me with a guy who I thought was Larry King. So it's decision time.