Schmidt: Whew, Nick looks exhausted. You guys obviously had a good night.
Jess: Yeah, um, I... We didn't sleep much.
Schmidt: Well, of course you didn't, you mangy little stray.
Jess: I really don't want to talk about it, especially not with you, Schmidt.
Schmidt: I know, and look, I also realize that it's gonna be a long time for me to regain your trust. I just think it's sad because if you did have a Nick problem, I probably could help you out. You know, my diploma says that I majored in communications, but my heart says that I majored in Nicholas studies. I'm just saying. I love the morning. Anything's possible. The whole day's ahead of you, you know?
Jess: Last night, Nick struggled with impotence. Oh, my God, I'm not talking you about this.
Schmidt: Jess, look, I get it. You don't want my help, but just do me a favor please. Let me know when you're not mad at me anymore so I can tell you about how men crave danger and variety in their sexual lives. I just hope it's not too late, fingers crossed.