Winston: Hey, look, we're not mourning, okay? This is a celebration, you know? That's what funerals are about...
Schmidt: Winston, I just can't go to the funeral, okay? I don't want to go!
Winston: What the hell is the problem?
Schmidt: Look, I really want to support Nick. I do. I want to support his family. I want to be there for him, but... I'm scared of death.
Winston: Uh... wow. Uh... Schmidt, you know, death is natural, you know? It's a natural part of life. Everybody's scared of death.
Schmidt: Death, Winston. [whispering] Death. Death. And let me ask you something, Winston. What's with this open casket thing? All of a sudden, I-I got to walk in and I got to see the carcass? That's crazy. What if... what if his eyes open? What if his eyes open, and then he comes and haunts all of us? Why do... Why... Literally, why are the buttons on here? Because they're not holding anything together, yet I don't know which buttons are buttoned. How do you get this thing off, Winston?! I don't understand this middle-class button system! Get it off of me! [panting] So I don't think I'm gonna go to the funeral, man. I think I'm gonna hang back.