Russell: When I was your age, I had a really skinny ponytail, and I think I was living off of selling my own blood.
Nick: That's funny. Then what happened? One day you just woke up and you had all this?
Russell: Well, I realized I wanted to grow up. That's what happened. [takes a boxed iPhone from a drawer] Um... I got this as a gift from the company for Christmas, so...
Nick: Oh, wow, that's great. My boss gave me three credit cards he found at the bar, and said, "You didn't get these from me." It's a bartender joke. I'm a bartender. We... We don't steal credit cards. Cool, cool.
Russell: Here. Take it.
Nick: No, no, I can't take your phone, man. I can't... it's just... it feels really good in my hand. Is it possible to be sexually attracted to an object?
Russell: Yes, it is. It really is. You can keep the sweater.
Nick: Thanks, I... I don't know why I put it on, to be honest with you. I just came in here, and it smelled like Shakespeare, if Shakespeare were a damn cowboy. And hawk's nests, and boat fuel, and cigars and burping... man stuff!