Schmidt: You really don't want to be seen having breakfast with me, do you? Are we even still in L.A.?
Cece: Schmidt, you and I are not together. We're not in a relationship. We're just having sex.
Schmidt: And I love it.
Cece: And I'm not gonna be a prize that you get to show off. Look, guys are always just showing me off, and I hate it.
Jess: Look, I... I want to tell people because I think that you are the dopest, flyest...smartest, ballsiest, bitchiest, truly terrifying woman that I have sexually enjoyed in a really long time.
Cece: Do you want to tell the waitress?
Schmidt: Uh, if I could have everyone's attention. Real quick, if you could, uh... Hey, guys, call a time-out to whatever-whatever-whatever that thing is. Okay, great. I am having sex with this woman right here. You want to stand up?
Cece: No.
Schmidt: Okay, you don't want to do it? All right, great. I'm enjoying myself im-immensely. Uh, it's, you know, a physical thing, but I am definitely, for real having sex with this girl right here, to completion. Parkour! Hit it! Down! Hit it! Down! Hit it!