Nick: She's not a bad person. She just did a bad thing.
Jess: Don't try to save me, Nick. [Jess clears throat] I was catsitting at the loft and I was doing crafts that involved glitter. There was a glitter sale at Kraftwerk... the store, not the German band from the '80s. And I spilled a bowl of purple, and Furguson took a bite. And an hour later, Winston came to pick him up. And the next day, he died.
Coach: None of this rhymes.
Jess: I did a cat murder! I'm so sorry.