Schmidt: I'm fat!
Jess: I'm ready!
Schmidt: Look at this scarf. I used to be able to wrap this scarf...
Jess: You go first.
Schmidt: exactly... two and a half times, and the plaid layers would blend seamlessly.
Jess: Scarf looks fine, Schmidt.
Schmidt: Now the blend is several degrees from seamless, a... as you can see. I've gained six pounds, maybe six and a half, I'm sure of it.
Cece: Honey, you look exactly the same to me.
Jess: Are you implying you gained six pounds in your neck?
Schmidt: I let my gym membership lapse when we were planning the wedding. Now instead of a chiseled ten, I'm a dumpy seven breathin' down six's back. But it's fine. I just have to find a new gym.