Jess: [on the phone] The guys and I are about to leave for the airport, and I'm so excited to see you.
Winston: Is that Ryan?
Jess: I can't wait for you to see my hometown. It's going to be just like An Affair to Remember, only instead of the Empire State Building on New Year's Eve, it's going to be a winery near the Portland airport at my dad's wedding. Anyway, I love you, I miss you. [Schmidt groans] Hello? Hello? Sounds like I lost you for a minute! Are you there?! Where's my widdle Eng-wish man?
Schmidt: And with that, Ryan walked into the River Thames and accepted death.
Jess: The joke's on you, 'cause I wasn't even talking to him. I was leaving a voice mail. Haven't talked to him for a week.