Schmidt: Now, whosever name you pick, that's who you'll be bringing a date for. And no date leaves until everyone is laid.
Jess: I just want to meet a nice fella. Can I have permission to send them home without sex?
Schmidt: No, you do not.
Coach: I think everybody's date should be able to leave.
Nick: Yeah, your plan sounds a little kidnappy. What's the rule on that, Winston?
Winston: Eh, gray area. We're good.