Schmidt: I'm soft like a lady. You won't even know.
Nick: But what if I get a surprise?
Schmidt: "A surprise"?
Nick: What if there's a surprise on me?
Schmidt: There's not gonna be a surprise on you.
Nick: What if I'm fighting the war and boom... there's a surprise!
Schmidt: You go north, I go south. Do you know what I'm saying? I'm in steerage and I'm rowing. And I'm rowing and I'm rowing and the... You're up in the crow's nest. Fre-fresh air up there, man. And I'm in the trenches, you know? I'm digging for coal. I'm breathing in those fumes. And you're up here. You're just taking in the sights. You're spotting dolphins, huh? You're just the handsome prince covered in salty sea spray...
Nick: I don't want you calling me handsome before a potential four-way!