Schmidt: What are Nick and Jess doing in there, and how is it this loud? Nick's body is so soft, it should absorb sound.
Winston: They're just getting warmed up, Schmidt. It's a whole new ball game around here. You, see, you wouldn't know that 'cause you haven't been here in weeks, but now that you're single, yeah, you got to deal with this, too. Dumped by two women in the same day, Schmidt, that has got to be a record, man.
Schmidt: I get it, all right? I lost two perfect women, but I'm fine with it, all right? I'm fine.
Winston: You could've been perfectly happy with either one of them, but now you're by yourself.
Schmidt: Winston, I'm fine. Please.
Winston: That really has to hurt.