Nick: Check this out, Schmidt, you're gonna freak out. Hey, I'm presenting, I'm presenting it. And that ain't no rental. Get up here. This is owned and operated by Mr. Nick Miller. Little help from Sid.
Schmidt: You bought a Porta Potti?
[flashback:]
Salesman: This one has warm and cold water, real soap dispensers, a fan.
Nick: Too much. What's that?
Salesman: That's garbage.
Nick: Garbage ... that's what the nursing home said about my mattress. I'll take it.
[present:]
Nick: For 60 bucks, and they threw in something called "septic enzymes," which I don't know what that is, but you're not supposed to get it in your eyes, for sure. I'm a small business owner.