Schmidt: Let me tell you something, Nicholas Miller. You know, had Winston kissed me, you're the first person I would have told!
Nick: I know you would have told me if Winston kissed you.
Schmidt: But I guess your loyalty lies elsewhere.
Nick: I can't handle this! Fine. Schmidt, congratulations. The spot is yours.
Schmidt: Okay. Really.
Nick: It's him.
Jess: What?! Nick Miller, you weakling.
Nick: I can't have people thinking my decision wasn't above board. This city can't have another scandal!